6. The insides of the beast

Brussels apartment distributions are weird.

The ads claim: 1 room! 2 rooms! Contrary to the German system, where by Zimmer they mean bedrooms AND living room (2 rooms meaning 1 bedroom and 1 living room, for example), in Brussels by chambres they mean bedrooms. The living room counting as a separate entity. But Alas! what they claim a bedroom is! Look at the sketches of the two example apartments I saw.

The green rectangle is the main door to the apartment. The larger squares represent the living room plus kitchen area. The blue rectangles are the doors between the rooms. And they say A and B are the bedrooms… They will say “square” B is a bedroom! But tell me, how would you like your guests to go through your bedroom to have to go to the toilet? Excuse me I call B an enlarged corridor.

7. All the offers of the UGC cinemas

“To save money because coming to the cinema is expensive, we offer you 5 day tickets which are valid Monday to Thursday, saving you 2 EUR per ticket, or 5 day tickets valid Monday to Sunday which save you 1.2 EUR or our best offer yet, UGC membership cards for 17 EUR per month which allow you to watch any film and as many as you want, at whatever time, on whatever day, each month!” Tiny print: “But we are going to charge you 30c every time you go to the toilet…”

8. Hat off to you Brusselians!

Mobiles (”GSM” as the Valons call them) are free/open! That is, they will work with any card, from any mobile company, from any country. And they don’t cost you 100 EUR extra just because they are not mobile company-restricted like it happens in other countries. Weird item, but I’m taking my hat off Brussels.

9. And I must put my hat on again…

Item number 9 of my list is more sad than weird. Brussels is “sold” as a bilingual city. In theory by bilingual they mean: French and Flemish, but in practice it is more French and English. Sure, cool for foreigners, but 1. completely unfair for the Flemish community who can’t speak their own language in their own city. All signs and advertisements are bilingual (often also in English) but if they go to shops or hospitals, either they speak French or they go hungry/bleed out. 2. foreigners who live for over a year (I’ve met some who have lived up to 10 years in Brussels now!) who cannot even say good morning and thank you should be ashamed at themselves for their lack of respect to their welcoming host.

10. The growing ball

To finish on a lighter note, a situation that I hope is not the norm in Brussels North train station. On a Saturday at 6:30 am, through the loudspeaker you could hear the following announcements for passengers:

“attention, train arriving at platform 5 now arriving at platform 7, I repeat, train arriving at platform 5 now arriving at platform 7, attention, train arriving at platform 4 now arriving at platform 2, I repeat, train arriving at platform 4 now arriving at platform 2, attention, train arriving at platform 3 now arriving at platform 5, I repeat, train arriving at platform 3 now arriving at platform 5, attention, train arriving at platform 1 now arriving at platform 4, I repeat, train arriving at platform 1 now arriving at platform 4, attention…”

You could just imagine how it all started: the first train of the morning was sent to the wrong platform and after it, all following trains had to have their platforms changed. And all the passengers running from one platform to the other… I wonder how many got on the wrong trains!

And this is all folks for today. Or maybe not… I do have a bar of battery on my EEE left… maybe I could start the 10 weird things of Buenos Aires now…

Related post(s)

• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 1) (1)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland) (part 2) (14)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland) (part 1) (2)
• 10 weird things about the health system in Jena (4)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Jena (Germany) (part 2) (10)

So, here are the first 5 things that have surprised me most in the three weeks I have been in Brussels. As always, I am not claiming they are things that always happen in Brussels, but I did see them, and I did see them in Brussels at least once, so they have become, for me, “Brusselian” things.

1. How to distinguish Europeans from mere mortals… look at their luggages!

I am not talking about Europeans as in citizens of one of the EU countries or even the European continent, but as in those working for EU institutions that live in Brussels most of the time but do not pay taxes in Brussels. They walk around, specially on Monday morning and Friday evening, with those small, black, rectangle, wheeled luggages that are just small enough to be considered hand luggage by air plane companies but big enough to fit one’s PJs, toothbrush and a couple of pieces of underwear and t-shirts. Look around the European institutions: if the person is carrying one of those luggages, he/she earns 3000 EUR netto. Otherwise, the poor person might have a contract that says 3000 EUR but after th 44% tax, they will only see 1680 EUR. PS. The cost of living in Brussels is the same for everybody, though…

2. Tell me how you dress and I will tell you where you come from

Besides the “snaily” Europeans that carry their possessions in those tiny luggages you can find all sorts of people in Brussels. It is very interesting to see African women with those large colourful dresses that I have seen in… well, films about Africa, standing besides Orthodox Jews with their black suits, hats and hanging strings of curly hair at each side of the head, near suited business people, cowboys with hats, Muslims with their baggy trousers and vests and even a few monks! Not monks as in priests that I have seen plenty in other places, but monks with their brown vests and white “ropie” belts.

3. The Brusselian vicious circle

Beware of the annoying Brusselian vicious circle. And good luck breaking it! What is it you ask? In one line, this:

house –> bank –> Belgian id number –> house

Which means: you move to Brussels for a new job. You need a house or apartment to live in, right? So, if you are very lucky, your new company offers you provisional accommodation. If not, if you can afford it, you go to a hotel to survive till you find a place to rent. If you know someone in Brussels, you thank them for the corner where to rest your exhausted body while you carry out your accommodation search.

But you see, to rent a flat, you need a bank account with two months rent as provision and the first month of rental. You need this account to get paid by your new employers at the end of the month, as well, of course. So you go to the bank first (Fortis, ING and Argenta are the banks you hear most of). People that have been living in Brussels for a while now, recomend Argenta because it is the only one that does not charge you every time you take money out, transfer money, for the cards, etc. You go visit them first then, and there you find out they cannot open an account for you until you have a Belgian resident number. Oh dear… one gets those at a “Commune”, as in at one of the “town halls” of the 19 communes or neighbourhoods of Brussels, when you sign up in one of them. But, to sign up at, for example Etterbeek or Ixelles or whichever commune you want to belong to, you need… a house/apartment in that commune!

So… the way out of the vicious circle? Three options: the first one is to cry your eyes out at the bank/commune, till one of them feels sorry for you and makes an exception. I’ve heard it works sometimes… The second one is to show them the money: ING will open a Green Account for you for 30 EUR for a year, even if you do not have a Belgian number or a house in Belgium. I think they call it a Green Account because it’s the account newcomers accept after getting really annoyed, as on Hulk-annoyed, of course. The catch: you must have a CDI, ie. “un contrat à durée indéterminée” as in a contract with no expiry date. The third one would fall in the Pay if forward category. Basically, if you are staying at a friend’s house, get them to put your name in the mailbox, and go with you to the commune. Then convince them you live in the same flat and get a Belgian number. Once you have the Belgian number, get a bank account, get a flat and go to the commune again to change your address. It is the pay it forward option because your friend had the same favour done to them by someone else, and as you cannnot repay them in the same way, just make sure you get out of the vicious circle someone else in the future. This third option is not easy though… see weird thing number 4!

4. The blue-suit visit

As I was saying in item number 3, to get a Belgian ID you have to go to the commune. But to go, you must first get an appointment by phone which will be… 3 weeks to a month later. Your day finally comes, you pay the 5 EUR for the 5 pictures they want, the 7.5 EUR for the processing of your forms and show them your house contract and CDI contract. “Très bien” they’ll say, “now a policeman will go to your house to check you live there and in 6 weeks we will send you the invitation to pick up your ID”. “A cop??? But I am not really going to start living in my new apartment till I go to IKEA next weekend to buy a bed!” you think while smiling and thanking them for their time. “6 weeks??” you scream mentally while hopping you don’t get run over by a cyclist on your way to work, for, of course, you cannot get Health insurance until you have the Belgian ID…

5. The house hunt

I never understood this expression. I mean, you go visit a few apartments and when you see one you like (or you get really tired of looking) you choose one. For me it sounds more like going to the zoo: the realtor or the internet sites display a few for you, in a well behaved and constrained manner, and you just see, apraise and select. Internet is widely used for may things, including offering accommodation for rent/sale and you can see many websites with appartmets to let in Brussels. But the method locals and adopted locals recommend and actually works is: walking around the area you like and taking note of phone numbers of apartments to rent displayed on windows! Now that’s what I would call really house hunting! Choose a street, walk down it and bang! your eye catches the glimpse of an orange sigh with the words “à louer – te huur”. And write down the phone number. Walk along a few more streets and bang bang! two signs more found and duly noted. And then start phoning

… 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 in part 2!

Related post(s)

• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 2) (2)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland) (part 2) (14)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland) (part 1) (2)
• 10 weird things about the health system in Jena (4)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Jena (Germany) (part 2) (10)

So, yesterday morning, after a week of coughing myself crazy, I decided to call and get an appointment with a doctor. I will walk you through the morning and share with you my impressions (”weirdations”).

1. I got up at 9 and went straight to the phone to call an MD I had been suggested because she spoke English (I have survival German by now, but I didn’t really want to chance getting confused and telling the doctor the wrong thing was hurting because I could not pronounce the words correctly). Now, just to make it clearer, the sentences in orange were spoken in German, translated here for your benefit (and mine… attempting to write them in German would make me take three hours extra to write this post). Sentences in italics are my thoughts, which I barely stopped from saying out loud. Sentences in green were originally in English. So I phoned, and the nice receptionist picked up the phone quite quickly.

- Good morning, Dr. xxx’s office, how may I help you?

- Hello, I would like an appointment with Dr. xxx for today.

- Impossible, I’m afraid, she’s booked all the way till June. (June???? German people can’t be THAT organized, can they??? They even know when they are going to get sick???) . If you are really sick, you can try coming tomorrow between 7 and 8:30.

- I see (not). ok thank you.

2. Now, all the references I had of this MD were that she spoke English, so I decided that I could just as well see if the one who is in my street spoke English. This one had a much smaller add in the Jena yellow pages, so surely she would be less booked out?

- Good morning, Dr. zzz’s office, how may I help you?

- Hello, I wanted to know if Dr. zzz spoke English.

- Yes, and? (now, imagine this said, in a harsh and no nonsense tone of voice).

-(wow, that was harsh) eeeh… because my German is not so good…

-…

3. So, I decided to go for it.

- so… I would like an appointment with Dr. zzz for today.

- she is all booked out. (as well????)

– oh…

- are you sick?

- eeeh… yeah…

This reinforced my impression that people in Jena just book visits to the doctor without actually being sick yet! I had to really bite my tongue to stop myself from saying duh…

4. And the harsh receptionist continued shocking me:

- What do you have?

- eeeh… a cough? (so glad I did not have something more personal going on…)

- You can come now.

- Now?

- Yes, now.

- Oh, ok… (I’ll get dressed…)

5. So I made it to the doctor’s office and was asked to sit in the waiting room with half a dozen other (elderly) patients. After half an hour or so, I was escorted to the doctor’s room and after a sentence I did not get, she quite nicely switched to English. Nice that she switched, because her tone was even worse than the receptionist’s. Now, not rude, just… harsh. So I told her I had the flu last week and after it went again I was left with a nasty cough that is persistent after 7 days.

- Flu? Why do you say it was flu?

- Muscle pains, slight fever, a person had it the week before, and then I got it, and another person besides me, at the same time, in the same household got it…

- No. It could not be flu.

- Why not?

- Because it is not the time for the flu

Oooh… I wasn’t aware of that… ok, then I had whatever is available for April???

6. So, she checked my chest, ears, throat… the usual and then she asked me if I was ok with them ordering blood tests.

- Eeeeh… if they are necessary?

- they are going to cost you… wait let me check…

Two phone calls later

- 140 EUR.

- eeeh ok… I have been paying 200 EUR per month for almost two years to have Medical Insurance, and I haven’t been to the doctor even once in this time, and I’m going to say no to tests, now that I’m stick, because they cost money?? Sure…

7. And the doctor continued with her questions:

- Do your parents or grandparents have heart problems, ME, cancer…

- No…

- Does it hurt when I do this? (and she started hitting me in the face in different places: front, cheeks, chin; and then the stomach, back…)

- Well, no… (assuming you mean no more than the pain resulting from you hitting me, woman! now, stop it!)

8. And I wanted to explain how I felt, you know, so she would know…

- Sometimes when I cough, the ears and throat…

- Yes, yes, do you smoke? so you drink alcohol? do you do sports?

Sorry for providing un-requested information, ma’am! Won’t happen again, ma’am!

9. And then the sex talk:

- Could you be pregnant?

- No, not that I’m aware.

- No, for sure?

- Well, I…

- You have safe sex, yes?

- Yes…

- Are you on the pill?

- No…

- Then do you think you could be pregnant?

- Well, no… (I mean not more than usual… I mean… as sure as you can be when you use condoms…)

- If we give you medicines, they could be bad for the baby.

- I am not pregnant.

- Are you sure?

Woman, you are starting to freak me out!

10. And after all, she diagnosed me with acute bronchitis, sent me to get X-rays to confirm I did not have Pneumonia (X-rays done in a different place on the same day and with a specialist telling me 30 minutes after the X-rays my lungs were pristine… you go, lungs!), and sent me to reception to get an appointment for next week…

and in spite of the booked out schedule of theirs… I did get an appointment!

Related post(s)

• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Jena (Germany) (part 2) (10)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Jena (Germany) (part 1) (3)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 2) (2)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 1) (1)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland) (part 2) (14)

Part 1: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and now…

6. Weddings and the 6 Nations Rugby Tournament fill Dublin’s weekends with curious images

A stroll down Grafton Street, almost any weekend of the year, will bring you face to face with one of three groups of people:

1. A group of 5+ Irish/Scottish/English women celebrating a Hen party (easily discernible by the rabbit ears/pink tops).
2. A group of 5+ men who are in town to watch a 6 Nations Rugby match (besides having their nation’s colours painted on their faces, the French and Italians are easy to recognize because of their language; now to distinguish the others, watch out for the number of kilts: among the English supporters, there will be none; among the Irish one or two, tops; among the Scottish, loads and among the Welsh loads too, but, additionally… the majority will have reddish curly hair).
3. A group of 5+ Irish/Scottish/English men celebrating a Stag party (easily discernible by… looking exactly like 6 Nations supporters, when no rugby matches are taking place).

7. Spring starts on the 1st of February

Yup. And summer on the 1st of May, autumn on the 1st of August (August!!) and winter on the 1st of November. You can read an explanation of this in the Semantic Bits blog, but I still found it weird. And sometimes a bit uncomfortable… for if it was spring, one could surely turn the heaters off, whatever temperature was outside notwithstanding, could one not? Brrrr…

8. If they ignore the calendar conventions, why not the weather itself?

And there you had them: tons of Irish men walking around in t-shirts and tons of Smurfettes, I mean, Irish women, walking around in barely-longer-than-knickers skirts and no tights… in spite of the 2C temperature. Then again, I do understand that if they had to wait for warm days to wear sleeveless clothes, they would never expose their skins to the sun… I mean clouds…

9. Dublin language translation: Are you ok? = may I help you?

At shops, when browsing around, you will always be addressed with “Are you ok?” by shop attendants. First 100 times you’ll think “wow, I must look horrible if he/she felt compelled to ask me that!”, and then you’ll remember that what they really mean is “may I help you?” and your automatic answer “yes, thank you” could be interpreted as that you do need help, although you didn’t really need any, and then you’ll add “well, not really, I was just browsing” and… your browsing will finish, for you’ll leave the shop red and under the puzzled look of the shop attendant.

10. Irish pride themselves of being laid-back… and they are really laid-back!

I lived like 30 minutes by bus away from the city center (Dublin 18, i.e. south-side). 30 minutes when there was no traffic and no bus delays. I already knew both the Irish were laid-back and that buses sometimes could be 20 minutes late. One morning I was waiting for the 8:10 morning bus to the city center when it started to rain quite heavily. In my bus stop there was no cover so I was just “happy” I was wearing my rain coat (aka my second skin). At half eight I knew I would just have to accept the first bus was not coming and I’d have to hope the 8:40 one did come on time. There were a couple other people waiting with me from the start. At 9 am I wondered if it wouldn’t make more sense to work from home that day, but nobody was leaving the now crowded bus-stop, so maybe they knew something I didn’t. At 9:30 a bus showed up. As everybody got on the bus I noticed that I was the only one with smoke coming out of my nostrils. The locals just got on the bus, smilingly said hello to the driver and went to their seats. No complains, no threats to file a report with the Bus company. Nothing… I wonder if the Irish live happier, longer lives than other Europeans…

The end.

So, what do you think of the 10 weirdest things in Dublin? Have you seen them in other places? Do you know a place where you saw 10 things even weirder than these? We are accepting contributions from anybody who’d like to share their list of weird things they’ve seen anywhere in the world. We can either invite you to olivetalks as a guest blogger (you will retain full credits, of course) or just let us know where have you posted the list and we will comment on it in olivetalks!

So, you’ve been informed. “10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Tunja/Bogotá (Colombia)” coming soon!

Related post(s)

• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland) (part 1) (2)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 2) (2)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 1) (1)
• 10 weird things about the health system in Jena (4)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Jena (Germany) (part 2) (10)

Quick summary: Dublin has a population of around 1 million people and is the capital of the Republic of Ireland. You can learn about the city in http://www.dublin.ie and here are a few of our pictures so you can imagine the place better:

And the 10 weirdest things I saw in Dublin are…

1. Only tourists use umbrellas… for Dubliners know rain falls upwards!

First week in Ireland I lost two umbrellas to the wind. Third one I bought… I decided to leave at home. The rain, contrary to falling from the sky down to my head as I was used to (ok, I have to admit I do not come from a place where it rains much, for it never rains in California… I mean, Alacant…), it came from the side, front, back… even upwards a few times! After the first two weeks, I did not use (=buy) any more umbrellas.

2. To cross the road first look at the floor, THEN see if there are any cars coming

Dublin takes good care of not losing any tourists to car accidents and conveniently informs you of where to look before crossing the road, at each pedestrian crossing.

3. Cold and hot-water taps on sinks are separate

Actually, this only surprised ZoltarStark, for we had the taps separately in Alacant till a few years back when my mother had them replaced. ZoltarStark just couldn’t believe you had to choose between freezing your hands or scalding them when washing them in the bathroom. Then again, in my brother’s bathroom in Edinburgh, he has the cold and the hot taps switched, and that’s even worse! I think the cold water tap should always be on the right and the hot one on the left.

4. “The Irish language must be official in the EU!”they screamed in English…

In 2005 the Irish language became “officially recognised as a working language by the European Union“. I was in Dublin through the petitions and speeches of how important was to have the Irish language granted official and working status in EU. I applauded their ideals and was happy they got the official status. Yes, I was. What just did not make sense to me was, why did they do all the speeches, propaganda, meetings… through English? It felt like a contradiction in terms…

5. Irish gaelic speakers: from 70,000 to 1,860,000 (depending on the source), 3 different ways to say how are you… and million for hello

When I arrived in Ireland, the first thing I did was enrol in an Irish language course. I really enjoyed learning it and even spent a long weekend in the Gaeltacht town of Gleann Cholm Cille doing an intensive course with Oideas Gael and sleeping in a B&B run by an Irish speaking family. A year and a half later, I finally accepted the fact that in spite of the “few” speakers, they have three major dialects which can already be seen in how they say “how are you“:

• Cad é mar a tá tú? (Tír Chonaill – County Donegal)
• Cén chaoi ‘bhfuil tú? (Connacht – western province of Ireland, comprising Counties Galway, Leitrim, Mayo, Roscommon, Sligo)
• Conas atá tú? (Momhan or County Monaghan, one of the three counties of Ulster in the Republic of Ireland)

No biggie… 3 options I can accept. Now, “Dia duit” (hello)… I never heard two Irish speakers pronounce it the same way. Honestly.

and 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…

Tomorrow! Same time, same place

Related post(s)

• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland) (part 2) (14)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 2) (2)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 1) (1)
• 10 weird things about the health system in Jena (4)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Jena (Germany) (part 2) (10)

Part 1: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and now…

6. Sixteen-month calendars and 18-month planners

Jena people and quantities. I don’t seem to be able to figure them out! So you can buy a calendar in September for the following 16 months and I needed a yearly planner last summer and it was practically impossible to get one for the current year (2007) but, surprisingly enough, I was able to get one for the 2nd half of 2007 and whole 2008. But then…

7. …no dozen eggs

You can buy a box of 6 eggs, but the next “size” is a box with 10 eggs! Not 12 which is what I’m used to seeing. Here’s an image of a 10-egg-box bought in Jena:

What are the usual box-sizes in other places? I know in Alacant it’s 12 eggs, and so is in Dublin…

8. No double-duvets, just two single ones!

And then, it is VERY hard to find double-size duvets in Jena (and duvet covers). It seems here they use two single duvets for double beds. I can see the advantage of having your own duvet and not having to fight for it with your bed-partner, but what about when you are in the middle of the bed? Either you end up with two duvets or none at all…

9. TV-series in 2 boxes and double seats at the cinema

Each season of series like Charmed or Heroes are sold in two halves. I can see the advantage if you don’t know if you are really interested in a series or you don’t have enough money saved up, it could be better to just have to pay for half. But I have the feeling that buying a season in two halves is overall more expensive than buying it complete. I have been told this practice is actually becoming common in other places like Spain or UK, but it still surprises mes. Oh and tying up the bizarre quantities in Jena, at the cinema, one can choose a double seat: where two people can sit together without the armrest in the middle. They call them “love-seats”, of course…

10. Lufthansa lost luggage auction

I think this is actually the weirdest thing I’ve seen in Jena so far. They had a Lufthansa lost luggage auction once! I couldn’t believe my eyes. They set up a stage in the middle of the Goethe Galerie (Jena’s city centre’s shopping centre) and they would show a luggage and auction it without even showing the contents! And people actually paid up to a couple of hundred euros for some of them! I saw some guy pick up his “new” luggage and extract 3 smaller luggages from inside, in decreasing sizes, and within the smallest one, he found a mobile phone. Another woman got a luggage with loads of clothes and a dictionary. Very funny… but what I don’t understand is, if Lufthansa did find the luggages, why not give them back to the original owners? And why would you pay for a used luggage with random clothes? And the most frightening question of all… did Lufthansa actually make a profit out of it? Because it might turn out to be better for them to keep on “losing luggages” and then auctioning them…

The end.

So, what do you think of the 10 weirdest things in Jena? Have you seen them in other places? Do you know a place where you saw 10 things even weirder than these? We are accepting contributions from anybody who’d like to share their list of weird things they’ve seen anywhere in the world. We can either invite you to olivetalks as a guest blogger (you will retain full credits, of course) or just let us know where have you posted the list and we will comment on it in olivetalks!

So, you’ve been informed. “10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland)” coming soon!

Related post(s)

• 10 weird things about the health system in Jena (4)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Jena (Germany) (part 1) (3)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 2) (2)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Brussels (Belgium) (part 1) (1)
• 10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Dublin (Ireland) (part 2) (14)

Quick summary: Jena is a German city with a population of a bit over 100,000 people and located about 250 km south (-west) of Berlin. You can learn about the city in http://www.jena.de/ and here’s a picture taken by me so you can imagine the place better:

Ok, you’ve got the image? Ready to read what were the 10 weirdest things we’ve seen in Jena? Now, remember, we are not natives from Jena, so that could be why we found the things weird, and we are neither criticizing nor making fun of the locals! I mean, come on, it’s a very nice place to live and… I do not want to get smacked next time I leave the house… So…

1. A mammoth

I’m not joking. Towards the end of August 2007, I was walking home and I encountered a Mammoth in the middle of the city centre. Look at the image if you don’t believe me!

Then I entered the Goethe Galerie shopping center and saw that it was an exposition on animals of the Ice Age. Still, quite a shocking sight when you suddenly look up from the flier somebody had tossed in your hand and you were reading. The exposition had a few other animals as well, like this scary one:

or the huge bear:

yeah, the scary animal is the one on the right…

2. Jena Tourist Information Office and McDonald’s have the employees reversed

Yes, they do! First week in Jena my German was pretty much non-existent. I decided to go to the Tourist Information Office to get a few maps and pointers on where could I learn German. I was surprised to find there that the person behind the desk did not speak any English whatsoever. It seems they are used to dealing with visiting Germans from other places in the country, and do not expect that many foreigners… Shortly after I went to the only place I could order in the local language by combine the numbers I knew in German with the name of dishes, and be sure I was going to know what was I going to eat: McDonald’s. I only got to say “Ein BigMac bitte” and the employee without missing a step switched to English “would you like fries with the BigMac?”. Funny place where the underpaid McDonald’s workers speak more than one language and the Information office doesn’t.

3. Cinema in original version, scarce and then… without subtitles? And the cost varies?

Basically, it wasn’t until over 6 months of me arriving to Jena that they showed a film in original version at one of the (three) cinemas in Jena. Spiderman 3 in Original Version! Not that I cared for the film that much, but I love going to the cinema and I was suffering from a serious case of cinema-withdrawal. So I went, and I really found weird that the film did NOT have subtitles in German. Not that I wanted them, but after weird item number 2, you have to agree that it’s a strange leap going from not showing any films in English, to showing them without even subtitles… And then there is the cost of a show not only varying from day to day (seen that before: more expensive on weekends, cheaper on special days…), but here there are additional costs if the film is over 2 hours and if you want to sit at the back of the screen. Weird… and painful for the pocket I must add…

4. You can use Credit Cards for 20-EUR purchases but not for 1000-EUR ones…

Food shops like Tegut or Real (equivalents to Tesco in the UK or Mercadona in the Land of Valencia) allow you to pay with Mastercard or VISA with no minimum amount required. Roller (where you buy furniture) or MediaMarkt, don’t. Even if you buy 2000 EUR worth of furniture or an indecent amount of DVDs. Quite a surprising thing to realize after you’ve filled up your trolley with two bookshelves and a living-room table with its six chairs…

5. Red light = do not cross, even if you are the last person in the world

Pedestrian crossing, 10 am, 20 people on each side of the road. Loads of cars passing by. Until the traffic light does not flash green for pedestrians, nobody moves a muscle. Fair enough.

Same pedestrian crossing, 8 pm, 5 people on each side of the road. A car passes by every minute. As in one per minute. Until the traffic light does not flash green for pedestrians, nobody moves a muscle. Funny.

Same pedestrian crossing, 10 pm, 2 people on each side of the road. A car passes by every… no cars pass by. Until the traffic light does not flash green for pedestrians, nobody moves a muscle. These people are bonkers…

So what happens when someone does cross when the light is, not even red, but amber? You should look at all their gazes following the offender’s crossing… I would really like to take a picture one day… but I’d have to spend hours if not days for an “offender” to dare such a thing.

and 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…

Tomorrow! Same time, same place. I know I said 10 weirdest things, not only 5, but I did not expect to make such a long post and I don’t want your browser to collapse. You’ll get the 2nd part tomorrow. I promise

Continue reading “10 weirdest things I’ve seen in… Jena” in Part 2.

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