olivetalks

Sometimes you forget very important rules and you end up making a big mistake. For example the one about “films with long titles suck”. Then you end up going to cinema and asking for “two tickets for Circue du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant please”. As if they couldn’t have given it a bit longer title. That of course makes you feel stupid even before the show started.

Unfortunately that’s nothing compared to the torture you’re going to endure for the next two hours. And all because you got duped by a well done trailer which had maybe 10% resemblance with the actual film. Yes, you do see the freaks, and yes there are vampires. Plus ‘vampaneze’. Yes, when I heard it I also went like WTF?! vampaneze as in ‘chimpanzee vampire’? Unless of course they meant ‘japanese vampires’. Because that would be like awesome, and super cool, dude. Not! Come on, when you come up with names like that you should be sent to re-education camp or something, before you spread your bullshit around. There is also some background story, which you get to hear bits and pieces. Kind of standard “destiny” thing. The pieces you get to know sound very cliché and don’t make much sense. Characters are not well developed. Beside being freaks they don’t have much else going on for them. They’re not beliveable nor noticeable. Which I guess is good since you definitely don’t want to remember this performance. Or maybe you do, in case they release a second part of this crap.